Today I want to talk about the term "Flying Monkeys". In Narcissistic Abuse the word is used to describe ALL the people an abuser has used, or told stories and lies to, to get them on their side. An abuser will use these people to help them with their smear campaign to destroy another person. The sad part is half the time these people don't know they're being used and believe what they're told because they don't actually know the person. 

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When I started my business and was now starting to post about the abuse, I was part of a support group for victims of abuse. Somehow I was deleted out of the group and isolated from the support I had!

As I've said before, the police were called by my family and I ended up in a shelter for a month and a half. Now during this time following what the police told me, I could not come back to the property and was unsure about contacting my family because of it so I had my worker at the shelter calling and communicating for me! The worker at the shelter, after talking to my family said I could not come back because I was Toxic and my family agreed. Now I have been a victim of Narcissistic Abuse my whole life and was well aware even if they were not what Narcissistic Abuse was AND that I had just started a business as a Life Coach for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, so imagine my surprise when my worker said the word TOXIC, I think I might have actually laughed! Regardless of this, I did what I had to and applied for Ontario Works and started looking for a place to rent. 

 

I had no idea where I would end up living but I also had no intention of stopping my business or stopping raising awareness about Narcissistic Abuse! 

The fact that I lived in a small place meant everyone who knew my family was now calling me toxic. Because they knew one member of my family or had heard my name somehow meant they all knew everything all of a sudden about me. There were comments on my public Facebook page accusing me of horrible things from relatives that I haven't talk to since I was a child but decided to help smear my name and my business! To this day, I have no idea how many people in my community and all of the Facebook communities and groups I belonged to that still think I am the "Narcissist" or toxic whatever that means because someone told them the word but didn't understand or know what it meant. The same people who are a supply to a narcissist are now under the impression that they are helping a victim when they are abusing and smearing my name and business FOR an abuser! 

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An abuser loves to isolate victims so they cannot get help or support and that is exactly what was done to me!

As a victim of Narcissistic Abuse I have been bullied, treated like garbage and not believed for years while I was trying to explain this and get help for myself and now these same community services are the one who are supposed be able to help my clients. My business is to help victims of Narcissistic Abuse recover because I know from experience EXACTLY what it's like to go through it and be invalidated and not believed by community workers, social workers, doctors, hospitals, police officers, and more!!! 

Narcissistic Abuse was a fairly new topic that was now starting to become popular when I started my business and raising awareness for this type of abuse and having laws changed were priorities when I started posting about it!

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There are all kinds of words and confusion associated with this like Narcissist, N.P.D, Toxic, Abuse, PTSD, C-PTSD and thousands more now that all get put together in one category and for someone who is trying to HELP victims who have spent enough time in this abuse it is beyond frustrating to see all the garbage that is posted and said every day! I promised to help raise awareness and to help victims of this abuse and there is nothing that makes me happier than seeing someone take back their life, so if a whole community of flying monkeys have to learn one by one that I am not the abuser then so be it! I have no problem being called names and accused of being mean to my family if I am helping REAL VICTIMS take back their life!!

Stay Strong has a lot of different meaning to different people and my mental and emotional strength was definitely tested these past 18 months but when you raise awareness and more people can start to see it then one by one victims will have a voice and be heard and believed and less abusers will get away!! This is WHY I started my business and it is why I will continue everyday, regardless of comments, stares or anything else I get from friends, family and strangers!!

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